Friday, March 22, 2013

loon's cry


Amended - First published in Simply Haiku
Autumn 2006, vol 4 no 3

9 comments:

Bill said...

A rich and evocative moment.

Warren said...

Thanks, Bill - This is one of my first haiku and I coupled it with an image I created in CorelDraw (an amateurish one at that). The haiku needs work and the image does too . . . it was something to pull up and put on the blog.

Warren

Adelaide said...

Both work very well, I think.

Adelaide

Warren said...

You just think - I hope you are right that this oen works, but this is a very early haiga, image and all, so it may not be all that great.

Thanks - Warren

Adelaide said...

Perhaps, I should have been more definite: Both work very well. Line 2 of the haiku is a pivot line, which gives the poem two readings and intentions. The stylized, precise image is in contrast to the mental image of fog, which is loose and shapeless.

Adelaide

Warren said...

Hi Adelaide - I was just kidding, with myself primarily - this is an early attempt at haiga and I've thought about changing it up. There is some shifting, changing that can improve it. Forgive me if I came across as defensive, which I didn't intend at all - I think my question was a question I was aiming at myself.

Your friend,

Warren

polona said...

just dropping by to say hi :-)
i found you through Bill and i see you have my blog in the links (thank you).

i'm quite fond of your haiga and for all that i've read about loons and their calls i hope some day to hear it in nature...

Warren said...

Thanks, Polona - Yes, I was surfing haiku and found your site - you are an outstanding haiku poet! You have a mastery of the techniques and I have enjoyed reading your poems. I'll go back in and comment.

Thanks - Warren

Lavana said...

Just lovely !