Monday, September 10, 2012

morning rain

morning rain . . .
lifting my face
to feel childhood

--

spider silk
floats in the slight breeze
. . . her gentle touch

--

skipping ahead
of the windblown shopper –
windblown bag

.

4 comments:

Bill said...

I especially like the third one.

Warren said...

Thanks Bill - I changed no. one - wasn't quite happy with it. I appreciate your stopping by.

Warren

Adelaide said...

Hi Warren,
A lovely trio. L2 in the spider silk haiku is a bit awkward to me.


Perhaps:

"floats in the slight breeze" or "floating in the slight breeze," Unless you mean that the breeze is held aloft in the spider silk, which is a unique image, but lovely. If this is what you meant, ignore my suggestion.

Adelaide

Warren said...

Hi Adelaide - One reason I look to you is your ability to see what I don't - yep, my line is awkward - just didn't see it. I'll change it up. Thanks for catching it!

Warren