Tuesday, September 13, 2011

of night rain

humid night
each swell of the curtains
brings the scent of rain

--

midnight rain . . .
the leisurely flow
of my dreams

.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love your poetry. I check almost everyday to see if you've posted anything new. And it just makes my day when you have. Thanks, Fay

Adelaide said...

I love rain at night while I'm falling asleep.

I would suggest with the 1st haiku for L3 an article before scent, either "a scent" or "the scent." Perhaps you omitted "the" because you have the same article in L2. For me, when I read it aloud, the emphasis is on "scent" and "the" is hardly noticed, but noticed in the absence.

Just my thoughts.

Adelaide

Anonymous said...

I love your poetry. I check almost every day to see if you've posted more. And when you have it makes my day. Fay

Warren said...

Thank you, Fay, m' darlin' - (cousin) I'm glad you check on me - I guess I had better get after the poetry, huh?

Love ya - Warren

Warren said...

Hi Adelaide - I totally agree, it sounds a little off without an article. I originally had "the" before "scent" but since I had the same article in L2 I dropped it, but also felt it was not quite right. If I can get away with two of the same article I will be happy. Thanks for the critique - I welcome them anytime. One cannot grow as a poet without help.

Warren