I always think a one-liner works best if it can be read in one breath all the way through without pausing and still make sense, and also can be broken into phrases as yours can.
warmth of a summer regretting nothing warmth of a summer a summer regretting nothing regretting nothing warmth of a summer regretting
Each phrase can be read separately and make sense, as well as sound poetic.
Others will have different approaches to one-liners, but I try this with mine. (I'm not always successful)
12 comments:
Beautiful. :-)
two nice ones, in the 3 line enjoyed the turn resonated in the phrase
much love...
Thanks Susannah and Gillena - I very much appreciate your reading and commenting! I'm glad you like them.
Warren
So beautiful! Both of these are terrific, but the one-line really struck me. Makes me think of a summer romance from my teenage years.
your kiss tells me
we only have tonight-
summer twilight
Sincerely,
Kristin
What a gorgeous haiku, Kristin - Thank you for sharing it and thanks for stopping by!
Warren
I came here by way of Kristin.
Your poems comliment each other.
Your one liner works for me.
Adelaide
Thanks Sandy - I'm glad you stopped by. Come back often (which means I had better get off my duff and write).
Thanks Adelaide - I'm just never certain how a one-lier is supposed to work. But I'll accept you comment and be glad I got it.
Warren
Your one-line-haïku tells so much through its silences.
Thank you Daniele - I appreciate your reading and your thoughts on the one-liner, which I was very uncertain about.
Warren
I always think a one-liner works best if it can be read in one breath all the way through without pausing and still make sense, and also can be broken into phrases as yours can.
warmth of a summer regretting nothing
warmth of a summer
a summer regretting nothing
regretting nothing
warmth of a summer regretting
Each phrase can be read separately and make sense, as well as sound poetic.
Others will have different approaches to one-liners, but I try this with mine. (I'm not always successful)
Adelaide
A good lesson for me in one-liners! Thank you, my friend.
Warren
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