Thursday, May 13, 2010

morning light

morning light
fringes the crimson tulips . . .
the curve of her smile

2 comments:

Adelaide said...

Lovely, Warren. The shape of her lips and the roundness of the tulip petals, the crimson of both flower and lips, the curve of both, a spring morning...I can see it and feel it.

I have one tiny suggestion, and it's just because it's the way I would write it, so perhaps this won't appeal to you...For L3 add the article the...the curve of her smile. I think it would make the pivot L2 work better. Just my own preference.

all the best,
Adelaide

Warren said...

Hi Adelaide - I struggled over using the definite article or not - I was a little afraid L3 would read too long with the article, but I'm taking your advice and adding it. Your opinion counts a lot to me - thanks!

Warren